Yesterday we had our first sketchy Greyhound ride. Fear not – no one was directly sketchy to us but the whole thing was just slightly unpleasant. But first, we must tell you what we did in Memphis yesterday morning.
We woke up to find that the magical mystery tour of Memphis was set to continue. I always like to be roused in the morning with the question “are you guys hungry?” and so this was a perfect way to start the day. We hopped in the car and eventually ended up at a place called Gibson’s Doughnuts. These are not your average Krispy Kremes or Dunkin Donuts, no. These were all fresh, handmade, delicious doughnuts. We were only going to have one each but Katherine insisted we had two so we had one there and took one for the road. I had a coconut one for breakfast and Bella chose blueberry which were both really good, and of course I washed that down with a carton of chocolate milk.
We then continued the tour and went to a gorgeous park called Shelby Farms where we just wandered around in the sun for a bit, reminisced about how annoying Furby’s were and generally absorbed the nice atmosphere. We were near Katherine’s friend Sarah’s house so we decided to pop by. She had the most gorgeous dogs (one was called Sophie) so we played with them for a bit and then realised it was probably time to sort our lives our and head towards the Greyhound.
We were going to drive by Graceland on the way there (apparently no people who actually live in Memphis have any clue where it is/ have never been) but after getting a little lost in the slightly more sketchy area of town we decided that maybe we should abort Elvis and concentrate on getting the bus. Luckily we made it in time. I really, really enjoyed Memphis and I think this is mostly because we had someone with us who knows the city so knew all the cool places to take us. Also I feel like downtown Memphis is pretty small so without a car we may have been a bit stuck so thank you SOOOOOOO much Katherine for being our personal tour guide and hosting us for the last couple of days – we had a great time!
Now here is where the trouble began. We arrive at the Greyhound with about twenty minutes to spare before we needed to board our bus. This is cutting it fairly fine but oh no, luckily the bus was AN HOUR LATE. This is fair enough if there seems to be a real problem but the bus was literally sitting right in front of us for this hour. Drivers were having veritable feasts of pizza and chatting away but not bloody boarding the bus. When we were eventually boarded we were some of the last people to get on the bus and so this meant we had to begin our journey solo. I was next to a portly Mexican man who, everytime we stopped, wanted to know if we were inDallas. We Weren’t. This bus was also graced with a couple, possibly the fattest I have ever seen, who seemed to have missed the memo about personal hygiene (mother, think dirty biscuit people). There odour was so bad that many people sitting around them decided to move away because it was making them retch. I also think they might have been brother and sister lovers but lets not speculate too much now.
It was a good job people moved away from them, because our next few hours were broken up rather nicely but overhearing stories from one of the moved men – his name was Dre. Dre had decided to perch himself next to a little white boy called Will and so began their 3 hour conversation to Little Rock. It started in a fairly standard way, talking about weed and the different types you could get. This moved on to medical marijuana – the guy in front had a medical card so he could get weed in California They then moved on, with the guy in front to talk about Hamsterdam. That is Amsterdam to you and me. Their little friend had visited Hamsterdam and showed them the business card of a prostitute he had the pleasure of using. It had her “real picture” and she was a bargain at just $30 for a session. After this, the discussed the merits of hostels (because he had stayed in one in Hamsterdam) and Dre was surprised to find that they didn’t all get killed like in the movie hostel.
After this the conversation took a slightly more innocent tone for a while. The men discussed their favourite cereals and lamented the dangers of surfing. However, then Dre began to tell his life story. His father was the biggest drug dealer in his town – making up to $12,000 a day (apparently). Now Dre didn’t want to follow in his path so he got a girl pregnant – when she was 13. Dre didn’t seem to keen on his baby mamma. She was “not the sort of baby mamma any guy would want”. It was all fine and he loved his only son, but unfortunately when he did some time in prison, she got a new boyfriend. What bothered Dre so much about this was that he sent her lots of money because obviously he loved his son, but she spent it all on going out and clothes for her. He believes this money should be spent on “new kicks for my son…he should not be going to school in Spiderman sneakers.” Glad to see his had his priorities straight. He carried on telling Will about the time he saw a white girl who was so hot…he thought she was an albino black person…
Unfortunately, we arrived in Little Rockfor our last real ten minute break before the rest of the like 7 hour journey. Here Bella and I were able to move next to each other so that was something. The bus was crap and didn’t have wi-fi. Everyone had reclined their seats and I was FREEZING. I seemed to sleep for quite a lot of the journey, but I realised on this bus ride was the first time in months that I had wished that I was home. I just wanted my bed! Luckily, Carie was there waiting at 2.30am with her dad (bless them it was SO late) and we were presented with the Princess room in her gorgeous condo. Picture the scene – we are on beds so tall they look like something out of the princess and the pea with like four poster iron things. Its so cool and I can safely safe we had a great night sleep.
BRING IT ON DALLAS