Good evening fellow travellers.
Picture the scene: a tiny little table with a stone turtle on it, millions of fire flies which Sophie keeps pointing out, amazed, as if it’s the same one travelling really fast, some people around a corner jamming, one of them possibly with a violin. This is our life right now.
But first, let us rewind back to this morning. Our new French roommates left quite early so we got up quite early too and went for breakfast. This morning we even had real bread rather than rolls but it was very crumbly which was weird but with peanut butter it actually tasted pretty good you will be pleased to know. We then embarked on our two mile hike back down the highway and into downtown (the area where all the bars and tacky shops are). The gift shops were very entertaining and had more Southern crap than you can ever imagine. There was a confederate flag bikini that we both really wanted, but unfortunately it was $36.99 and even if we had shared it, it would have taken a whole day out of the budget. A whole day’s budget that we instead spent on ice cream.
Our spirits were raised though when we came across a whole rack of photos dedicated to Southern recipes, but these were not any Southern recipes – these were Elvis’ personal Southern recipes (or at least they had pictures of his face/of him tucking into delicious biscuits on them). We invested in an Elvis’ biscuits postcard and an Elvis’ banana pudding postcard to go with the fried chicken one we already bought in Savannah (sadly this one doesn’t have Elvis’ face on it), so be prepared for a genuine Southern feast when we return to the homeland! We also found a store that we really really liked that was full of sparkly things and friendship bracelets, and so we bought some bracelets and bonded with the guy at the cash register who had the quietest voice in the world/mumbled a lot but was very nice. My bracelet says ‘cancer’ which was fair enough when it was with all the other star sign bracelets but I have since realised I am wandering about with the word ‘cancer’ attached to my wrist so that’s cool.
After the many many gift stores we decided it was high time we went for an ice cream for lunch, so we went to Mike’s Ice Cream. I had a root beer float since we are in Amurca and I actually love root beer, and Sophie had a butterscotch milkshake. We ended up sitting there for ages because a) there was A/C, b) there was wi-fi, and c) we were hemmed in by a crazy man in a mobility scooter. Eventually though, we escaped, and the crazy man thanked us for letting him sit near us. We told him he should consider it an honour and a privilege. Jokes, of course we didn’t. We simply fled. And we fled to the country music hall of fame ( gift shop ) – we weren’t trying to pay to get in now were we?
Next up was a bit more wandering, and then we decided to go sit on some grass by the river. It was here that we had today’s two disasters. One, we sat down and Sophie noticed that her shoe was broken. Then she picked up her bag and noticed that all her water had spilt everywhere. We thought this was fine until we realised that her ipod, which has survived so long and through so much, was looking more than a little dead. It was too hot to move/do anything about it though, so we sat there until another crazy man arrived, and then moved a couple hundred feet to the right. We hadn’t been sitting there very long when a man came along, blessed us with a stick, and told us that “Jesus loves y’all.” So that was nice.
At around 5 we decided to go for more food. Should we just rename this blog “British Girls Eat Their Way Through the South”? Maybe. Maybe something catchier is in order. Anyway, we went to Dick’s Last Resort, which I have been going on about going to basically all year, and it was here that we met today’s friend, Jordan, who was our waiter. He made fun of us and called us cheap for ordering water but was overall very nice, very chatty and very keen to tell us his entire life story. He was born in Anglesey and demanded to know all the things we hate about America. We ate BBQ ribs and chicken, naturally, and since we were sharing and they ‘don’t do plates,’ we had to eat it off a bit of paper in the middle of the table. Wonderful. At the end of the meal we discovered that Jordan is an ex frat boy, has the same keyring as me, used to date a Theta and has the same bank card so after that we were pretty much BFFs.
It was only about 6 at this point and we really wanted to hear some live music but we are irritatingly under age. As we wandered around downtown, we came across yet more weirdos: a man who held up a sign asking us to sit on his face, another man who was offering kisses for $1 (we declined) and a crazy woman who was making fun of foreigners and then asked us if we spoke English. Eventually we decided there was literally nothing to do but eat more food and so we found ourselves in Margaritaville, where there was at least a live man doing some singing, ordering dessert. I honestly don’t know how these things happen. Anyway we had another nice waiter who told us he was new and so to bear with him if we had any questions.
Afterwards we did a bit more wandering. The guys outside the various bars and stuff were all taunting us because we look old enough that they try and entice us in but we can’t actually go in past 6 or 7 PM. We decided to cut our losses and return to the hostel, where we are now. We both really really like Nashville but it is SO ANNOYING being so underage!
Total Disaster Count: 11